I lost a parent a month ago. He was at his prime in retirement. Fate interceded and he passed quickly in his eighty first year. Just like that he was gone. But while in retirement, he really enjoyed his lifestyle. He mixed a life of doing nothing and doing a lot. He loved travelling and went to Africa twice. He supported many causes including orphan baby elephants which he visited. He was fortunate in life and it was his way of giving back.
As I approach my golden years, I weigh what I will do in retirement. I’ve positioned myself to slide into retirement. Moving from being in business full-time, and gradually shifting to part-time, with the right staff. I’ve already simplified my life and make sure I take time to do things I enjoy. A planned shift into my senior years. That said, the suddenness of the passing of my father made me come to realize that maybe its alright to do nothing in retirement and other times like now.
So that’s the story I tell my clients and others willing to listen. It’s the purpose behind this post. Learn the art of simply being, not doing. If that gives you anxiety, here’s how to do nothing and enjoy it. A little nothing time every day may be good for your mental health.
When I speak to most people about retirement, the very idea of retiring and doing nothing is terrifying and intolerable to some, a situation to be avoided at all cost. People have been striving all their lives. Back in the day, accomplishing your goals required herculean effort or sneaking in a back door entrance.
Post retirement, some people extoll the virtues of doing absolutely nothing, or close to it. At least a little every day. Though it sounds counterintuitive, they’ve learned that letting go of everything, even for a short time, has mental health benefits.
As our pandemic recedes, it’s tempting to jump back into all kinds of activities, long beyond reach. But you might want to consider some moments of doing absolutely nothing. If that idea makes your heart skip a beat, you’re not alone. Some of us don’t want such an intensely uncomfortable experience or can’t push through and are paralyzed or incapacitated by discomfort.
Let’s pause at this point so I can define anxiety and explain some down to earth ways to address the subject, at least from this psychologist’s point of view. Addressing your anxiety will help you attempt the practice of doing nothing. Don’t be anxious about doing nothing. Simply stated, anxiety is an emotion characterized by fear which has some predictable effects on our physiology.
If you are a worrier, then you know that your thoughts can go down dark alleys that make your heart beat too fast. Or you may feel tension in your body before you even realize that you are imagining a catastrophic outcome to some person, or an event soon to take place.
When your worries precede an experience it is known as anticipatory anxiety and is likely to cause some physiological effects like dry mouth or sweating; it is actually quite common when you need to perform, like on a test, or while giving a talk, or engaging in a sport competition.
Some of us are more prone to calamitous thinking but all of us worry from time to time. This is quite normal but when nervousness or apprehension interferes with your daily life, your work or your relationships, it’s more serious and may need some professional attention.
Keep in mind that embracing the practice of doing nothing may create some discomfort because it’s such an anathema to the way of life we’ve embraced for so many decades unrelenting jobs big and small, and the obligations that come with being a responsible member of society.
Here are three tactics you can use to decrease distress when you take on the counterintuitive task of doing nothing:
- Remind yourself that you can stop what you’re doing, or not doing, as it were, and resume normal activity anytime you want. But wait a few minutes before you do to see if the concern passes.
- Stay with your plan and intention to do nothing but breathe slowly to calm down any jitters. Start with a slow and long out breath and then an in-breath as deeply as is comfortable. Continue this way of breathing for at least one minute. Mindful breathing is an effective strategy that can be applied to all anxiety symptoms.
- If your comfort level hasn’t improved, ground yourself in the here and now. Look around you at four objects that are familiar and pleasant. Listen for familiar sounds. Find objects that are soothing to the touch. Nurturing any of your senses lends a sense of calmness.
Now back to doing nothing. Pick a day to begin, one in which you are likely to be undisturbed by urgent demands. Choose a short block of time and wait for some internally driven suggestions like looking out the window or wandering around the house. Again, the goal is to be not do. Go outdoors for a walk in your neighbourhood or nature. That’s my calm. No work. Just notice what you observe, feel, see, or smell.
Your thoughts and emotions are valuable sources of information to you, about you, in the process of doing nothing. While this is a process akin to meditating, the goal is to embrace and appreciate every moment of the experience rather than just breathing away thoughts. This may be the first time in your life when you can wander around with no agenda and simply be curious about what you observe.
The bottomline
The satisfying art of doing nothing is a practice that, once incorporated into your life, has proven mental and physical health benefits and sharpening your focus without any particular effort. Taking time to smell the flowers can be combined with doing what you love. I find it is a balance that retirees need to find. I’ve also heard stories of people who work too long into retirement because that’s what they know how to do. Then they find that they have not left time for retirement. As I mentioned in the beginning. It’s a balance. What ever that is for you, do find time to do nothing as part of that formula. That’s the right approach in retirement to Keeping Life Current.
