Writing my regular Northern River Reflection post for our corporate Facebook page today comes on a lazy Sunday morning at the cottage over one too many coffees. Let me retract, I used the word “lazy.” But that’s ok, I plan for down time. I incorporate time each Sunday morning for relaxation, reflection and writing. But that did not come without deliberate commitment to effective time management.
Balancing life and work can seem like an impossible feat. We are continually getting busier and more stressed. Some people do not understand life other then at full speed. Technology does not make it easer. It makes workers accessible around the clock. Fears of job loss incentivize longer hours. In fact, a whopping 95% of working professionals reported working more than 50 hours per week and nearly half said they worked more than 65 hours per week in a Harvard Business School survey.
Experts agree that the compounding stress from the never-ending workday is damaging. It can hurt relationships, health and overall happiness. Life-work balance means something different to every individual, but here are some tips to help you find the balance that’s right for you.
Change your life habits
Sometimes we fall into a rut and assume our habits are set in stone. Take a snapshot view of your life and ask yourself: What changes could make life easier?
Consider the example of a senior executive woman who arranges dinner for her husband every night. Pretty stereotypical. But as the higher earner with the more demanding job, the trips to the grocery store and daily meal preparations were adding too much stress to her life. The solution? Introduce balance. It’s time to change the habit. The executive worried her husband might be upset, but if she wants to reduce stress, this structural change could accomplish just that.
So instead of trying to do it all, focus on activities you specialize in and value most. Delegate or outsource everything else. Talk to the key stakeholders in different areas of your life, which could include employees or colleagues at work, a spouse or a partner in a community project. Find out what you can do to let go in ways that benefit other people by giving them opportunities to grow. This will give them a chance to learn something new and free you up so you may devote attention to your higher priorities.
Start small and build
We’ve all been there: crash diets that fizzle out, New Year’s resolutions we forget. It’s the same with life work balance when we take on too much too quickly. Many workaholic people commit to drastic changes: cutting their hours from 80 hours a week to 40, bumping up their daily run from zero miles a day to five miles a day. It’s a recipe for failure. Consider someone who is always absent from his family dinners, vowing to begin attending the meals nightly. Start smaller. Begin with one evening a week. Eventually, work your way up to two to three dinners per week. If you’re trying to change a certain script in your life, start small and experience some success. Build from there.
Let go of perfectionism
A lot of overachievers develop perfectionist tendencies at a young age when demands on their time are limited to school, hobbies and maybe an after-school job. It’s easier to maintain that perfectionist habit as a kid, but as you grow up, life gets more complicated. As you climb the ladder at work and as your family grows, your responsibilities mushroom. Perfectionism becomes out of reach, and if that habit is left unchecked, it can become destructive.
I have been known for this. It was probably better labelled as being a little obsessive compulsive. The key to avoid burning out is to let go of perfectionism. As life gets more expanded it’s very hard, both neurologically and psychologically, to keep that habit of perfection going. The healthier option is to strive not for perfection, but for excellence.
Unplug
From telecommuting to programs that make work easier, technology has helped our lives in many ways. But it has also created expectations of constant accessibility. The work day never seems to end. There are times when you should just shut your phone off and enjoy the moment. Phone notifications interrupt your off time and inject an undercurrent of stress in your system. So don’t text at your kid’s soccer game and don’t send work emails while you’re hanging out with family.
Make quality time true quality time. By not reacting to the updates from work, you will developing a stronger habit of resilience. Resilient people feel a greater sense of control over their lives. Reactive people have less control and are more prone to stress.
Exercise and meditate
Even when we’re busy, we make time for the crucial things in life. We eat. We sleep. And yet one of our most crucial needs, exercise, is often the first thing to go when our calendars fill up. This is my Achilles heel. While I like canoeing and hiking, I could introduce more exercise into my life. Exercise is an effective stress reducer. It pumps feel-good endorphins through your body. It helps lift your mood and can even serve a one-two punch by also putting you in a meditative state.
So what I recommend is dedicating a few chunks of time each week to self-care, whether it’s exercise, yoga or meditation. And if you’re really pressed for time, start small with deep breathing exercises during your commute, a quick five minute meditation session morning and night, or replacing drinking alcohol with a healthier form of stress reduction. When I talk about balance, not everything has to be the completion and achievement of a task, it also has to include self-care so that your body, mind and soul are being refreshed.
Limit time-wasters
First, identify what’s most important in your life. This list will differ for everyone. Make sure it truly reflects your priorities, not someone else’s. Next, draw firm boundaries so you can devote quality time to these high-priority people and activities. From there, it will be easier to determine what needs to be trimmed from the schedule.
If email or internet surfing sends you into a time-wasting spiral, establish rules to keep you on task. That may mean turning off email notifications and replying in batches during limited times each day. If you’re mindlessly surfing Facebook or blogs when you should be getting work done, try using productivity software.
If you find your time being gobbled up by less constructive people, find ways to diplomatically limit these interactions. Cornered every morning by the office chatterbox? Politely excuse yourself. Drinks with the work gang the night before a busy, important day? Bow out and get a good night sleep. Focus on the people and activities that reward you the most.
To some, this may seem selfish. But it isn’t selfish. It’s that airplane metaphor. If you have a child, you put the oxygen mask on yourself first, not on the child. When it comes to being a good friend, spouse, parent or worker, the better you are yourself, the better you are going to be in all those areas as well.
Notice I used the term life work balance. That was on purpose. It comes from my own personal experience. I feel that everyone’s personal life should take precedence over their work life. It may be difficult for some. Sometimes it is an economic reality. Sometimes it is just a question of prioritization. Life is fleeting and we cannot get back those times that were important, missed, and gone. I came to that realization a little late in life and it is one of the reasons we practice financial life planning. It is never too late. Procrastination in creating a life work balance detracts us from Keeping Life Current.