Let’s take a different direction today. I recently had a cool conversation about life at 40 with a client. He had just had a birthday and was reflecting back on his life journey. He said that to be successful in anything you do, by age 40, you need a sense of purpose whether it’s in your career, relationships, or something personal can make all the difference. It doesn’t have to be perfect or grandiose; it just has to matter to you. Let’s dive in.
Meaningful relationships
Strong, meaningful relationships are key to a fulfilling life. By the time you hit 40, it’s not about having hundreds of acquaintances or a constantly buzzing social life, it’s about quality over quanity. True connection comes from those deep, authentic bonds with people who genuinely care about you and have your back when things get tough.
This meant focusing less on trying to impress everyone and more on nurturing the relationships that actually mattered. Whether it’s a partner, close friends, or family, having people in your corner who support you and accept you as you are is a game-changer. Reach out, show up for people, and invest your time and energy into the connections that truly matter.
Sense of purpose
Many people feel like I they are just floating through life without direction. Go to work, come home, and repeat the same cycle day after day. It’s not until our late 30s that we realize how much this lack of purpose is holding me back. Finding purpose doesn’t mean you have to change the world or do something earth-shattering.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.
When you don’t have something meaningful to work toward, even the smallest challenges can feel overwhelming. By 40, having a sense of purpose whether it’s in your career, relationships, or something personal like volunteering or creating, can make all the difference. It doesn’t have to be perfect or grandiose; it just has to matter to you.
Manage your emotions
To some, emotional control means bottling everything up and powering through. That approach does not work. In our my 20s and even 30s, we are quick to anger, easily overwhelmed by stress, and feel like our emotions are running the show.
It wasn’t until we start diving into emotional intelligence that things began to shift. We realize that managing emotions doesn’t mean suppressing them; it means understanding and processing them in a healthy way.
One of the most helpful tools is learning to label our emotions. Simply saying, your feeling anxious right or disappointed, helps create some distance between yourself and the intensity of the feeling. If you are tuned out of your own emotions, you will be poor at reading them in other people. By 40, being able to manage your emotions doesn’t mean you’ll never feel upset or stressed. Life happens. But if you’ve reached a point where you can handle those feelings with grace and self-awareness most of the time, you’re winning.
Prioritize your physical health
When we are young, we’re feel like were invisible. We treat our bodies like an afterthought. We skipped meals, stayed up too late, and exercised only when we feel guilty about how we I look. But as we got older, we started noticing the toll it was taking. Low energy, poor sleep, and just a general feeling of being unwell.
It not until we made my health a priority that things began to shift. We started small: daily walks, more water, and setting a consistent bedtime. Over time, these little changes added up, and I began to realize how much better life feels when you’re physically well. And it’s not just saying this. Science backs it up.
A long-term study found that maintaining healthy habits like regular exercise and proper nutrition is linked to lower risks of chronic diseases and even improved mental well-being.
The researchers emphasized that staying active and eating well doesn’t just benefit your body; it also helps reduce stress and improve overall happiness. Whether that’s through working out, eating balanced meals, or simply getting enough rest, you’re setting yourself up for a longer, happier life.
Let go of what you can’t control
Being chronic over thinkers and control freaks means if something didn’t go the way we planned, we’d spiral into frustration, trying to figure out how we could’ve prevented it. It wasn’t just exhausting. It was completely unproductive.
This mindset shift can be freeing. Whenever life throws its curveballs now, and it still does, take a step back and remind yourself to focus on what’s within your power. Whether it’s how you react, what actions you take next, or simply letting go and moving forward, this approach can save so much unnecessary stress. Research has found that people who accept negative events they can’t control experience better mental health outcomes than those who try to fight or avoid them.
Develop self-compassion
Most people are their own worst critics. Whenever you’ve made a mistake, you beat yourself up relentlessly, replaying it in your head and convincing yourself it was proof that you weren’t good enough. Inner dialogue can hold you, making you afraid to take risks or put myself out there.
Have you ever botched an important presentation for a client? Your old habit would’ve been to dwell on it and tell yourself how incompetent you were. How about pausing and saying to yourself, it’s okay. You’re human and everyone makes mistakes. What can you learn from this? That small act of self-kindness can help you bounce back faster and approach the next challenge with more confidence. By 40, if you’ve learned to be kind to yourself, even when you fall short, you’re ahead of so many people still stuck in cycles of self-criticism.
Embracing failure as growth
This one can take a long time to wrap your head around because, let’s face it, failure feels awful. For years, most people do everything to avoid it. Playing it safe, sticking to what you knew, and avoiding risks that might make you look bad. But guess what?
That mindset keeps you stuck. Here’s the counterintuitive truth: Failure isn’t the opposite of success; it’s part of the process. If you’re afraid of failure, you’re afraid of learning. That can hit you like a ton of bricks because you realized avoiding failure was holding you back from growing into the person you want to be.
By 40, if you’ve started seeing failure as feedback rather than a dead-end, you’re on the right track. Here’s one practical way to shift your mindset: every time something doesn’t go as planned, ask yourself three questions: what went wrong, what could you do differently next time, and hat did I learn from this experience?
Writing these down can help you reframe failure as an opportunity instead of a setback. The truth is, embracing failure isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Without your mistakes, I wouldn’t be where you are today.
The bottomline
By the time you hit 40, life isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. Growth doesn’t stop here. Take a moment to reflect on where you are and where you’d like to go next. Start small. Pick one area from this list and take an actionable step today. Maybe that means scheduling time with someone, practicing self-compassion after a tough day, or simply going for a walk.
Remember, life isn’t a race to check off achievements. It’s about building habits and mindsets that bring you peace, fulfillment, and joy. At the end of the day, winning at life is less about what you’ve done and more about how you feel showing up for yourself and the people who matter most. Keep going Keeping Life Current.
